Arriving late at Chez Ransom found the dynamic duo more commonly known as the Dangerous Brothers not only up but packed and supping tea on the pavement. Quicker than Clark Kent in a phone booth, kit was transferred and we were off to battle crime or the rivers of Dartmoor (in no particular order).
The other factions of CAPed Crusaders were soon located and we made a B line to the put in of the Upper Dart. Donned in our bested crime fighting attire we took to the river to show it who was boss. “WHAM” we exclaimed as we checked out the colour scheme on the Dark Destroyer’s (Chas) new boat.
Rapids were slain as we moved down the river with the CAPed Crusaders working well as a team. Euthanasia was reached and we all took it in turn to slay the nemesis while also getting some photos and film for prosperity and the Daily Planet.
Like a video game, the bosses kept coming and next up was the legendary Pandora’s rapid. A little shallow, some of us took the easier options of paddling round the main slot. Zulu Dave (real name as we are yet to come up with a moniker) was not to be out done though.
!!!POW!!! and he fired up the crux move and showed Pandora’s what for. Please note this photo below as it would be the last time that the item on Darren’s spraydeck would be seen for quite a while.
The rest of river was descended without mishap and we arrived at the takeout.” Right then” said Captain Splatman (Ivan), “Lets get this shuttle run and get back to HQ for beers”.
“Not so quick, has anyone seen my Peli case and the car key inside” replied Dangerous Daz.
Thus the CAPed Crusaders set about solving The Case Of The Missing Case. Shuttles were run to get everyone back to The River Dart Country Park. Darren, now back in civilian clothing (to protect his Super Hero identity) phoned the RAC to come and help him gain access to the Ransomobile where a spare key was kept for such emergencies.
The RAC collect Darren and whisked him away to open the car. They tried the locks but to no avail then Mr RAC thought he might be able to pop out one of the side windows with an air pump he kept on his utility belt.
CRASH as the window shattered into a million tiny shards of glittering crystal. Luckily, the spare key was in its concealed location and the Ransomobile was soon being patched up against the elements before everyone set about welcoming the last member of the team with the arrival of Jayman fresh from his journey down from Sheffield.
The next day saw a split in the camp with the majority of the CAPed Crusaders heading back to take on the might of the Upper Dart at more challenging levels while the Dangerous Brothers headed off to take on the notorious Car Breakers of Plymouth. Not even the Chief Breaker collapsing from a heart attack could deter the Dangerous Brothers from locating a replacement piece of glass.
Back on the river with the other guys and things weren’t going so well.
KERSPLAT as Splatman was set upon by a fairly innocuous minion as he pinned on a boulder. Bobbing (Stuart) attempted to rescue the Captain which resulted in Splatman and Bobbing getting dragged backwards through a tree which resulted in two swims. Kit was recovered but Bobbing had found out that his crime fighting clobber was not as impervious as he had previously thought as both legs of his drysuit were now full of water up to the knees. “Holey Drysuits Splatman”
The coldness had also got to Captain Splatman as he fell foul of another rapid as we descended into the Mad Mile. His boat end up being pinned twice before it was finally rescued above Euthanasia.
Pandora’s was portaged by all except Zulu Dave who lined her up with another of his powerful left hooks. BOOF as he landed in the pool below.
Taking out at RDCP, we setting about thawing out before seeking sustenance prior to the Gene 17 party in the evening. The party was it normal crowded affair so we mainly stayed outside where we met up with Old CAPtonian, Pete Organ, and one of Darren’s old college friends who regaled us with his sailing exploits. Gruesome Gaz then gave us a masterclass in how to spread bet on a raffle.
Sunday found the CAPed Crusaders debating what to do. The rivers were a lot lower and unfortunately there weren’t many options available. Discussions were had and the general consensus ended up being let’s go home. So the CAPed Crusaders headed off, walking away from The Case Of The Missing Case.
Two weeks later and some other paddling super heroes posted on the UK Rivers Guidebook forum to say that they had found some cigarettes, an I phone and car keys all safe and sound in a Peli case. The river taketh and the river giveth, you just have to go with the flow.